#100 days of honesty Day 40: Two kinds of people

Sometimes I remember memories like impulses. Things and people which make me feel good to remember and others which do not that much at all. Sometimes one little small memory becomes the symbol of a whole relationship. Looking back at the past I have to admit that when I think of love from friends or romantic love everything what I long for in the future is a sort of caring, supporting love what adds to your life rather than takes away.

There are small but still significant details I remember very clearly from past friendships and relationships. They might not mean that much to others but they must have meant to me since I still remember them.

I have certain people who I can never be angry of no matter what happened because they gave me something just by how they are. Just by me being around them they reminded me how good it is to read books or watch movies again. They influenced me with their style and inspired me to pay more attention to dressing up nicely and trying to communicate better also through visuals who I really am. Or that it is nice to be healthy and work out and that I can be whoever I want if I work for it a bit harder. They never asked me to do those things, they were just who they were. A good influence.

Then there were other moments when for example I decided to take a photo of sunrise in winter and the other person told me that he is sure I can not wake up to catch it. And of course I did. Or an other one who when I told about my study plans instead of supporting me bursted out agressively to ask where he is in those plans. He was nowhere by then when those plans actually came true.

It is not only bad love what can wear you out, it is also the wrong kind of friendship and above all the bad kind of (or the lack of) self love and self respect.

I want to keep and attract those good influences, the good energies. People who lift you up, respect you and are loyal to you. It was so funny, I was walking some days ago in a shop and I overheard a phone conversation. A man was talking with someone on the phone articulating heavily and said the following: "It will be like this now, I decided, it can not be otherwise. I have to surround myself with energetic people. Everything will be ok from then on, I know it."

The drive made me smile but he was right, wasn't he? Sometimes people tend to think that they are the victim of their environment instead of admitting that the environment what surrounds them is made or allowed to be by them. And that it can influence to such a big extent how they think and they feel that they would not even know it. May be if we think of love at Christmas we could also think of love what removes the poison not just love in any form good or bad.