Monday, June 19, 2017

Meanwhile in theuniverse..

So. There is a small problem here again: my laptop with all of my half-organized photo folders on it is in repair now because it does not recognize the charger and can not be charged at all.

There will be no data loss but this all is very uncomfortable since I was in the middle of an editing process. Plus my current phone does not allow me to upload photos to Blogger. That is why I have been adding photos only to Instagram and Facebook during the last couple of days.


To save the day -and because I am not sure how much the repair will cost or if I need to buy a new computer- I decided to invest in a lower price category tablet.


With the help of this I will be able to sort photos and I might take it on my trips too in the future when I am travelling with hand luggage only.


I was of course not too happy when my laptop stopped working. But for now I decided to simply go with the flow and concentrate on things I can influence. I am in the middle of rethinking-reorganizing my whole photo equipment anyways. I will write about it more as I am making some decisions, now all is just a fuzzy plan in my head yet :).

Monday, June 12, 2017

Thinking about life


WRITING AND PHOTOS BY MONIKA CSAPO







When I am thinking about life I always end up at these two quite contradictory yet to me equally possible conclusions. One is that it all adds up to something; the people we meet, things we go through, lessons we learn. That there might be a learning curve and also a space for correction. If someone wants to use big words then in this variation I believe in next lives and some sort of evolutionary continuation. Which is not fueled by any sort of reward but exists just in itself as "the nature of the game". The other theory I am thinking about sometimes is that there might be really a final end point when everything vanishes. As I have seen it already in small so many times during my life: people, emotions, places of comfort- things what seem constant and eternal once can turn to nothing slowly or at a very sudden turn. The end is always the same: what existed does not exist any more.

In an interesting way both of these theories evoke the same reaction in me: by hope or rebellion it motivates me to dig deeper, try to be better, calm down and do the best I can.  This week there will be the one year anniversary of the death of one of my best friends. When I think about her I am happy that she had a talent for enjoying life to the fullest. Looking back I am happy that when she finally got a job she deserved she could buy all the classy clothes she wanted. That she could cherish also every small thing so much no matter if it was tasting a new dish on Restaurant Day or laughing at one of my stories saying "Oh my god Monika, you are soo crazy!!". 

In a way in life nothing matters and everything matters at the same time. Sometimes everything seems so messy, other times the same things what caused the mess do not have any power over you any longer. A lot depends on the context too- to know what is important and what is not. But you can not be so f zen all the time. Anniversaries like this bring you back to reality. It is a reality which contains sadness but also appreciation and honesty. Things come to light which are hidden otherwise under the games and failures of everyday. Are you happy? What do you want? Is it important for you to be happy at all? If not what is it what you are looking for in life?