Sunday, July 1, 2018



I wish I could let go all of the half-done things. To continue free and empty, open for new things to come. With time there are so many untold goodbyes, undone closures. You jump from one state to other because it is natural: the instinct to survive makes you continue but you are never whole because there are always these unfinished lives running parallel to each other deep inside you.

I wish that we would have rituals to grieve and mourn death- natural and also the death of friendships and love. That it would not be required and rescpected to be strong and silent, that instant recoveries would not be celebrated.

With all the not properly ended closures after a while there is no space any more for functioning in a healthy way. I realize it in moments of good times on myself how much harm half-ass goodbyes and quick recoveries have done to me. I am happy and hopeful but still something weighs me down.

I need space in my life for new things to come. I want to use my energy to establish projects I believe in. I want to be free. I want to be capable of being fully myself.

There are things what are eternal. Family, the places you belong to, the core of your personality. But from time to time I think it would be beneficial to do a life meditation and look at all the areas. Like when using a body scrub rub off dead skin cells: non functioning friendships turned into acquaintances, old habits, reflexes what don't serve you any more, exes who want to keep you in the friend zone but are not real friends who you can count on. People who promise things but never keep them.

It does not have to be a brutal explosion. It can be a gentle act like when donating clothes: you can take the past and your past selves what you are not any more, fold them and send away to the universe. With social media in our face 24/7 we forget that it is ok to put down things. You don't have to carry what you are not any longer.

It is not unnatural, it is life. It is called closures and new beginnings. 

I want to take a big breath and feel again how it is to be fully happy. Without any pressure in my chest, without the anxiety of everything I couldn't say or did not have the heart to let go of. I believe in the space created through this process. I believe it will be as if when you open a curtain in a dark room and suddenly the sun shines through. "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become."-Carl Jung

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

A Round Trip Through Tuscany and Umbria: The Umbrian Region


 If I would have to compare Tuscany and Umbria to dating life I would say that Tuscany is like succesful first dates. Romantic and pink and Umbria is the stage when you dive a bit deeper and everything gets more complex and entangled.

Once the center of the Etruscan civilization Umbria is known nowadays like the "green heart of Italy". Italians like to spend their holidays here because the region offers a mixture of great cuisine, beautiful landscapes and historical cities and small towns. 

When I stayed in Umbria I visited Assisi, Spello and Gubbio and spent the rest of the time with getting to know Perugia better. Plus I changed trains twice in Terontola. But basically you can just point your finger on the map and go to any city or village and you will not make a bad choice. Local train and bus connections are frequent and cheap so you can visit even two or three places within a day. For sure in every town there will be a nice main square, churches full of art, nice small cafes and food places besides the local attributes. Thanks to the Etruscan heritage towns and villages are built on hilltops. Therefore when you are in the old town you will be able to enjoy a beautiful view of the surrounding wide plain with other cities built on hilltops emerging in the distance.

What did I visit:

In Assisi I visited the Cathedral. It has very beautiful architecture and there is no entrance fee. I listened to the audio guide while staying there and as someone who likes art I really enjoyed looking around while getting some background info on paintings and frescos.

Assisi is the fourth biggest Catholic pilgrimage site of the world and the place where St. Francis founded the Franciscan order. St. Francis was by the way a real rebel of his age speaking up for simplicity, solidarity with the poor and returning to modesty which was very much disliked and seen as a threat by more elitistic and materialistic church members. He also liked animals a lot and is seen as the patron saint of animals and ecology in Catholic religion. You can get to the old town by a local bus from the train station.

Then I continued my trip to Spello. Spello is most famous for its streets filled with beautiful flower creations and green plants in nice ceramic flower pots. The town was just as beautiful in reality as on the pictures you see on the internet. It is a peaceful little town which is perfect for taking pictures and wandering around.

Then I spent a day in Perugia and made an excursion to Gubbio the next day. Gubbio is built on a small mountain and when I visited there was still a bit of snow. Even though the old town is on a mountain top you have to walk only a little uphill and then you can get for free through elevators and escalators to the main sights. The oldest part of Gubbio is located close to the bus terminal. It is characterized by its typical narrow small streets and dark-grey stone houses. This part of the town has a real medieval feel!

Traveling by train and bus added so much to my trip compared to an organized trip when they bring you directly to places. I could see local people, take the same bus what high school kids took after school going home from Perugia to surrounding villages. I could look at the landscape and just take in everything in a much slower, more free form. I really recommend you to choose this type of travelling when visiting Umbria!

The places what I did not see and would like to see if I go next were Norcia, Foligno, Spoleto and also Lake Trasimeno seemed like a nice place to chill.