Thursday, February 15, 2018

#100 days of honesty Day 100: Life

PHOTO AND WRITING BY MONIKA CSAPO





I think a big portion of happiness comes from realizing who you are, acknowleding it and acting accordingly. Now as I am writing it I am listening to Chopin Nocturne op. 9. Nr 2. which is one of my favorite nocturnes from him.I used to listen to classical music much more often some years ago and now this little classical music listening session of mine reminded me that I should do it more often again.

Earlier this afternoon I was in the mood of listening to Cardi B- whom I liked long time before she became this famous, not that it would matter hehe.

I am not good at writing summaries so I will just list some things here from the last hundred days. I realized for example that one of the biggest source of my distress has been that I was looking "more outward than inward" (Carl Gustav Jung). Instead of doing it I want to be more happy for what I have and simply be more active in my free time. Too much unused energy just leads to distress and stupid thoughts.

These are small things but I have been drinking more water and bought a yearly card to my favorite botanical garden what I wanted to do since a long time but never did. I think I am also going to buy the yearly card to Kunsthistorisches Museum in Vienna. I became more strict but flexible with my gym routine: I am going three-four times a week but it is ok if I skip a day I planned to go on and go on an other day instead. The main goal is that I go at least three but better four times a week.

In photography I developed new photo sorting and editing practices. Some of the methods I stole from photography magazines. One was for example that a photographer said that he is spending max. 15 minutes on editing a picture. If he is not done with it in this time it is not worth to work on it more because he takes many photos and he wants to edit effectively.
Also with sorting I am faster now. If I don't like a photo I delete it and don't cling to it just because I took it or because it is a memory from somewhere. And I do not store fifteen versions of the same photo on my phone haha.

I decided that I will keep these short reflections #100daysofhonesty-coloumns but will write in a once a week once every two weeks format about probably one topic which has been on my mind in particular. Meanwhile I will start again publishing photos and writing travel journals. May be in a more loose format sometimes as if I would tell about my trips to a friend- but this I leave open, I want to have joy in what I am doing and not plan too much forcefully ahead.

I think as you become an adult there comes times when certain greyness sneeks into the everyday. Everything is a bit like being covered by a strange dust. Everyone is talking about children, jobs, flats- which is ok but it would be nice still talking also about movies, books or love or wishes or dreams. 

There can and should be a joy in the everyday what we can not expect to be handed over by others. Probably it is something what we can make for ourselves consciously by appreciating little things and working a lot to reach bigger goals. I decided to read Louise L. Hay's You Can Heal Your Heart until the end during spring and simply think less and act more fiercly and energetically.

Also my flat got prettier and many things got fulfilled from my famous lists.

I can recommend journaling to everyone who feels a bit stuck or want to see clearer where the problem points in her life and acting might be. There is no overall forever solution in life, and mostly these phases go in circles. But when it is a more chaotic phase again strictly speaking about it more openly helps a lot in getting through it and finding solutions. I do not except that tomorrow I will wake up and everything will take a 180 degrees turn. But now I have my notes and some of my thoughts what will surely help a bit if I would feel stuck again. 

Good night and let us have a nice spring!

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

#100 days of honesty Day 99: Purpose

PHOTO AND WRITING BY MONIKA CSAPO



"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."- Joseph Addison


Life is really so funny. I looked at the calendar and realized that tomorrow the 100 days will be over. 

And exactly tomorrow is a bit of dark humor day for me because we had also our anniversary with one of my former partners exactly on this day. I always dispised Valentines day so it was already funny to have an anniversary then. But having a former anniversary on Valentines day what you do not like anyways just adds to the irony-factor of it.

Then I realized that tomorrow my 100th day will be also exactly on this day- which is a big coinsidence since I did not count the days when I started this  mini project of mine.

May be again this teaches me about life and makes me realize that although the past was filled with many good and not so good moments I have the right to pick what I want to take with me from it and be every day just who I want to be apart from what has happened earlier.

During last year I had amazing journeys. To Israel, to Madrid, Toledo, the Azores. I was in Florence watching the sunset with my Dad and my brother. I did my couple of times a year visits to Hanko, Suomenlinna and I discovered Vallisaari. I want to stop for a moment tomorrow and rather instead of thinking- even in a funny way- of the past just to reflect on my life now a bit.

To have a day when I do what I like, when I am active, when I can be truly happy and think about ways to maintain this state. It will be a day for me and about me filled with good things. as a gift from myself to myself for trying to fix stuff and do something good and to improve. Even when there is not every time someone standing next to me cheering, even if I doubt myself too so often :)