Thursday, January 3, 2013

PLAN A, B, C, D...

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I more and more realize how important it is to break down our dream/plans to small steps. And parallel to it de-mythicize everyday expression used by the public which might cause big troubles for idealist/overthinker people like me.

When I was a teenager I thought that I have no emotions. Everyone was talking about love all the time, and telling to me that you notice it when you feel THAT. But I just simply felt that I like the other person, and I want to see him again, because it is nice to be together, and to be honest I did not know at all what "THAT" should mean what everyone talks about.
I am pretty sure that my emotions were just as honest as the one of others though. I just did not dare to believe it, because they spoke with this pathetic voice about this beautiful sacred thing which seemed so much bigger than my emotions based on practical actions.

The same happened when I became an adult. I faced questions like: what is a good life? How do people know that that exact person is the best optimal person ever to choose as husband/wife? Based on what are they choosing one man/woman to be the father/mother of their future children? Of course everyone would tell all these romantic stories how they found each other and so on, but as an adult person we should also get to a point that we realize: people like to make their lives look like a fancy story, and many people do not even mean what they say so seriously.

There is no optimal life, there is no perfect relationship, there is no one right life path  There are choices, decisions, mistakes and coolness. I tend to see life more and more as a space to be filled with whatever we want to according to our own preferences. No matter how famous, rich, beloved we are, if we are married or not, if we have kids or not: we will die at the end and this all will end one way or an other. It depends on each person individually how much he/she considers this fact that life is a game which will end 100% no matter what you do, think, or feel.
Realistically seen the same way how we sometimes betray and hurt even ourselves, other people will do the same to us. They will lie to us, hurt us, cheat on us. Then the balance gets retained again and they are nice, care about us and our relationship to them is good again.

Trying to strive for perfection can ruin so much one`s everyday.  Because it is a lie, just like the common senses about how emotions should feel like.  As a former - and still overthinker I set two rules I try to follow: lets not over-analyze life (more acting than thinking) and no drama. I managed to apply it a bit more often than before, and I have to say that this worked at least for me quite well.

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