Tuesday, October 9, 2012

The addictive factor of amateur arts and squeezing life for inspiration

Have you ever thought about how come that the word express can mean a, try to tell something b,
something like instant soup where you aim for fast return as a result of lower energy-investment, or at least something done fast...Hmhm, interesting...Or may be not so much, but I want to talk about this topic now and needed some lines to warm up for the real topic.

(Btw. as a side information I can tell that I am over-exhausted, because I just had to realize that at my flat in Budapest everyone knows each other in the house and since I am the "new one" on the scene, because I have spent more time there now after I broke up with my ex, I felt like a co-star in the Friends or some f-ing Big Brother...The best is that many people are working in the restaurant downstairs as waiters and waitresses from the house, and yesterday one of the waiters who I do not remember to have talked before asked me for how long I am staying now in Budapest. Or may be I just empty my short term memory too often and that is why I did not remember telling about my life to him. Anyways at least he seemed to be a kind person, not like one of the waitresses who when I asked for a take-away latte had a malicious smile on her face for who know what reason...Ok, sometimes (quite often) I am paranoid, but the main info is that I really felt like being in some reality show.)

I can write about the topic above honestly, cause at this point of my life I am a wanna-be amateur photographer myself and this entitles me to use sarcastic and ironic voice, cause I consider myself as a member of the group I am talking about. I just had to realize lately that the need for creative expression or artistic expression can be a a source of a very strong addiction which emerges from the need of getting recognized as an interesting person or in the worse cases the need to create something "immortal" (ha-ha).
-side though: one of my coworker said it very shortly and sharply "If a guy tells me he is a photographer I tell him: "so, you are unemployed??"-

Many people see art as a second-identity besides their real jobs as some kind of underworld floating under their lives they have to live day by day. Then they tell you that actually one day they would like to live from doing arts, but tell at the same time that they could never do any photos like that that someone tells them the topic they have to shoot about (hmm then who the f*ck is ordering the jobs from them????).

This is the second biggest mistake in being an amateur artist: the lack of sense of reality. Being professional in the 21th century means that you do it for a living. It does not mean that speaking about me for example men from all over the world like your photos, cause they want to seem nice and make compliments in order to manipulate you. And it does not mean either that some depressed wanna be amateurs sitting in their room comment on you photos in photo community/photo uploading site circles in order to get clicks on their own photos as well. Or in order to get likes from you in exchange for their likes.

I think people who do arts in order to get 1, nice comments 2, creating something immortal are idiots! You should do arts, because you have a message to transmit or you want to show your own visual worldview, or if you are a professional because this is your way of doing a living and earning money what you can buy food and clothes from, not to speak about paying the bills. In a real artistic process the person of the artist should be as low-profile as possible, because all what matters is the creation, the end-product which can be a nice photo, a good music or a nice painting.

I had an ex who told me stories with tears in his eyes about a painter who ate the paint cause did not have money to eat. Well, if it is someones own choice go ahead, but really...Who cares if you die and you will be famous, or who says what about what you have created. I know that artists are driven by different powers than others, but how do you actually name someone as an artist besides those who study it at the university and even 80% of those who do it as a profession create boring sh*t from time to time...Being amateur should be about finding the balance and keeping the joy over an addictive need for expressing yourself, plus the benefit that you have a real job takes the stress away and you can really enjoy the creative process and do it just for the sake of doing it, not in order to earn money with it.

This brings up the question of motivation. Why does someone want to be an amateur artist? Can you even say that this expression makes sense at all? For example can someone be an amateur model just because she shakes her ass nicely on the sidewalk? Or can someone be a poet just because he/she wrote 20 poems in his/her life? Who decides??Even among professionals there is always artists who are stars of their age and the next generation treats them as some popular trash of their era, but no real value for the generations coming after them.
If your motivation is a healthy need for expressing how you see the world and enjoy the self-loosing/destroying process of creation, I think it is great. But if you do not know where to stop it can grow to a schizophrenic-addictive state which can be very dangerous and cause many problems. Actually being in the process of creation can be very exhausting and sometimes when I go on photo tours I stop after a while, because I can feel that after reaching an euphoric state of finding great spots/objects for photos all my energy gets consumed and I have this urge to stop. Then when I go home sometimes I do not touch the photos for days, because it can take hours to process them, sort them out etc. which is a quite tiring process full of concentration. The hardest part comes at the end: ok there is the photos. What should I do with it? Of course you wanna show it, so you post it on Facebook/Google Plus/on your blog...and you wait. And the second junkie-part comes here. How many likes you get? Do people like what you do???How come that people like the photos the most what you liked the least and do not care about your personal favorites at all????

I studied Economics at the university and have a quite realistic side besides this wanna-be interesting artist side of me. So I decided for myself that likes are good, but I am willing to do this time and energy-consuming thing for only two reasons: my own personal joy and money. It is nice if people like my pics, then I can make a site and sell them all over the world and they can have the original on their wall and this way I get close to people and stay in their homes in a way even though I do not want to be immortal at all (actually I would see it more as a punishment ha-ha). For me others can go crazy for likes and spend all their free time on sorting their photos and hunting for likes. I will do it only as much as it makes me happy and do not let it grow to an addiction and we will see if the photos are really as good as the likes show if people will be willing to spend their money instead of buying a Mcwhatever menu in the Mcwhatever on buying a photo of mine instead. Will not be sad either if noone wants to buy any of the photos, but my rational side said to me that amateur self-artist-ism drives people crazy and I have seen many cases like this, so it is time to get "professional" and make money of the time consumed which I actually already started when I won a 1000 EUR worth necklace on a Kalevalakoru photo competition.

Might sound too dry and realistic, and I do not mind if people want to eat the paint or faint on the street after three hours of photo shots in an euphoric/drugged-like state. People should know their limits and motivation which is the key for happiness. Viva la amateur art until it makes people happy and harmonic, but being a wanna-be artist just to get a second identity and going crazy even without being paid for it should be a big no-no in my op.

Thanks again :).

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