100 days of honesty Day 92: Growth

PHOTO AND WRITING BY MONIKA CSAPO

On the photo you can see my anonas seeds from the Azores growing in the plant incubator of my favorite botanical garden.  

When I think about what growth means to me in my own life it is mostly having healthy, well functioning connections. And do what I like to do the best way I can. I think now I am at 30% of my full potential (on some territories I consider this number to be higher) but I also now that among the given circumstances I am trying to do my best to increase this number on daily basis.

There are some things I should do more, others I should let go of more on the other side. Probably the key solution is in the word "doing".  In order to do things you have to dare and in order to dare you have to love yourself enough so you can function no matter what is happening around you. 

I have been talking so often about the gym here because it is one territory of my life where I feel that I could consequently fulfill what I wanted to do and it gives me hope for other territories as well. At the beginning I had someone who was sort of cheering for me- although my motivation came from myself only. Then I lost contact to that person and I was afraid about feeling unmotivated and not continung but I kept going. 

In the future I would like to do more collective projects. I have been thinking about starting a collective urban gardening project for kids and adults who would be interested in it. And also about language tutoring for less privilieged kids. 

I have had an other idea since a long time about organizing activities and support groups for family members and families who are part of the support system of cancer patients. To offer activities for them where they can switch off a bit and relax.

I also want to reorganize my travel stories that way that it shows more my own findings from different cities- good cafes, design shops etc. So if someone wants to search a city the good places I saw are easy to find as recommendations. 

I have so many ideas but sometimes something blocks me from acting. I am not really sure what it is. I want to destroy this blockage in me and just start doing things instead of thinking too much about them. And start being more effective and strategic at the same time. Let's hope that the method of giving a structure and a bit of science to my gym routine can be duplicated to real life and  I can find ways to know what and how to do so I can reach a bit of progress also in other parts of my life.