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According to some rethinking I changed the text of this post. I removed some pictures, because I try to keep the line with adding only photos taken by me to this blog. I did not want to change the title though, because then also all the comments to the post loose their meaning and I do not want it.
When I was trying to replace the photos in the post I had to work with the materials I have on my Picasa web albums, because I am in Hungary now and do not have access to all of my photos stored at home. Then I found this picture and somehow I thought, that "yes, this is it" this reflects the relation between me and these philosophical-religious things so much.
When I was 12-13 or so I participated in an exchange program in Austria. The project was based every year around one topic and that year it was called "chaos and order". In the project different groups worked on the topic for 1 week and at the end they made a book of the results. Each group approached through different means: natural sciences, literature, visual arts etc. I was in the culture section in a group where the approach was "Chaos and order in the everyday" and wrote the following:
"...Chaos bedeutet für jeden Menschen etwas anderes: Es gibt viele Menschen, denen auch kleinere Probleme grosse Schwierigkeiten machen...Ordnung gibt es auch in der Natur, im Zimmer oder in den Köpfen einiger Menschen. Viele sagen wenn man eine ordentliche Umwelt hat, kann man auch besser arbeiten. Ich halte Ordnung auch für sehr wichtig, weil ich nur auf dieser Weise ausgeglichen sein kann. Trotzdem ich Ordung so mag und an jeden Schuljahrbeginn sage, dass ich ordentlich sein werde, ist es nicht immer so."
in English: "...Chaos means for everyone something different: there is many people for whom even small problems cause big trouble...You can see order in the nature, in a room or in the head of some people. Many say that if there is order around you, you can work better. For me order is very important, because I feel balanced only, when order surrounds me. Although I like it so much and promise at the start of each schoolyear that there will be order around me, it is actually not always so."
This writing fits the topic well. Some daily routine can bring structure to thoughts and life and yes, even though I promise it to myself at the beginning of even every day, it is actually not always so that I can keep this daily routine so much...
personally from experience and observation zazen may not be helpful and just ingraines existing tendencies !
ReplyDeletewhat's important is to get some solitude on a daily basis so that one can recollect and get some headspace to be more in touch with god/infinity/buddha nature !
with friends and family it's just a question of being more objective about them (and oneself and one's reactions !)
Hello and thanks for the comment. Yes, with zazen I do not have any experience at all. Sometimes I sit relaxed in my room and light a candle and just relax. But even like that, when I try not to think about anything, first all the thoughts and feelings are just getting more intense.
ReplyDeleteI think also on more broad basis about this god/infinity/buddha or however we call it things. I think it is different for every person to find the way to this. Some find it by moving out from things and some might have to go in to the deep of the things to find some answers, because if you say that the solution is to cancel everything from your life what makes you think/feel something, then you are just living in constant denial and that is not a spiritual victory in my eyes.
"first all the thoughts and feelings are just getting more intense"
ReplyDeletejust solitude by itself is a problem if you don't read and write, well like the blog is writing and that's helpful to you !
have you ever written any poetry ? what do you read? your english seems very good
i like your blog writings and photography, you are living in finland? you would be better living somewhere with good sun like australia which is where i live !
you are on "autistic spectrum" and nothing will ever fit for youyou really need to pay attention to your health e.g. sun on skin as just mentioned
i am actually from new zealand, i think you would like nz a lot !
"because if you say that the solution is to cancel everything from your life what makes you think/feel something, then you are just living in constant denial and that is not a spiritual victory in my eyes. "
yeah thats quite right, a good insight, you can think well !
hi, yes I have written poetry when I was 17. I would not comment the quality of the poems though :), but in its time it did what it was meant for.
ReplyDeleteNowadays I do not read so much any more as much as I used to read. The last book I read was "Brautflug" in German and it had actually something to do with NZ. In the high school I was in a class specialized in Literature, History and Foreign languages, so I read quite much of the classics, philosophy etc.
I have been living in Finland for around 4 years now and I am Hungarian.
This "autistic spectrum" sounds quite scary :). I even took an AQ-test quickly when I read it to see if I am still normal haha. I scored 18, so I am only a little bit over the average. I would like to visit NZ once, but I like to live in Europe.
what i have learnt is that one should just write poetry mainly for oneself and it helps greatly with the processing and understanding of life, literally opens up a new all encompassing dimension.
ReplyDeleteeasy to self publish on the web too !
For me it was not helping so much and that is why I like writing freely this and that much more. I connect quite bad memories and feelings to that point of my life when I used to write poetry.
ReplyDeleteWriting and photography fits me much better and helps me to sort things out in a much more natural and inspirational way.
maybe the poetry you wrote helped process the bad memories and feelings?
ReplyDeletemaybe a little poem with a photo?
a million photos on the web, but none with poems : o )
i do not want to be extraordinary with the photo+poem combination. This blog is my way to show some of the things I see not to be artificially smart and wise to the extent what I am not :)
ReplyDeletei don't think one is this this or that, but one develops, imo it's important to try things and see how they turn out !
ReplyDeletes - t - r - e - t - c - h
of course this is not for conventional people
: o )
:)
ReplyDelete